When Discipline Works and When It Doesn’t

Last week I wrote about the quiet power of Dry January, and the role discipline plays in doing hard things. Once I set my mind to something, I usually stick with it, whether it’s Dry January, daily exercise, or setting a morning alarm even when I don’t have to.

After listening to James Clear on The Mel Robbins Podcast, I was reminded that talking about discipline, or telling someone to “just try harder,” doesn’t help most people.

In Atomic Habits, Clear writes: “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”

There is discipline involved in systems, but systems work best when they’re simple, supportive, and even a little enjoyable. When a system makes success easier, discipline becomes less of a battle.

My first year of Dry January was paired with a month-long cleanse: removing alcohol, coffee, sugar, dairy, and more. What made the biggest difference wasn’t willpower; it was community. A Facebook group formed where people shared recipes, encouragement, and honest struggles. When the month ended, many of us kept some of those habits long-term, not because we were stronger, but because we weren’t alone.

The following year, I did Dry January on my own just to see if I could. It wasn’t hard then, and it isn’t hard now. But for many people, stopping something — or starting something — requires far more than discipline. And depending on the goal, that’s true for me as well.

Some habits come easily to me: daily movement, flossing, drinking water. Others require more structure. I’m faithful about writing each week, but even that would benefit from a stronger system. Sometimes the blog is finished on Monday. Other weeks, I’m still working on it on Thursday, my self-imposed deadline.

Some habits are easier when they’re gamified. The blue dots on my Peloton app and the rings on my Apple Watch encourage me to show up consistently. But other goals, like reaching out to ten people each week, require a system I’m still refining. I’ve explored multiple CRMs and asked myself which one is “best,” when the better question might be: What can I start using today? Waiting for the perfect solution is often what keeps us stuck. Progress usually comes from starting and adjusting along the way.

Another essential piece of any system is accountability. It’s hard to achieve meaningful change when you’re the only one holding yourself accountable. Motivation comes and goes. Support matters. That support might come from a friend, a mentor, a community, or a coach.

Years ago, when I trained for a triathlon, having a coach made all the difference. The work was still mine to do but having a plan and someone checking in helped turn intention into action.

The same is true in business. Vision matters. Discipline matters. But sustainable growth usually comes from strong systems and the right support. You can do it alone, but you don’t have to.

Discipline may get you started. Systems and support are what help you keep going.

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