You’re Not for Everyone (And That’s Okay)

Have you ever felt like you were at a workshop, conference, or event where you didn’t quite belong?

On the surface, the topic sounded interesting, so you signed up. Or perhaps you’re part of a membership group, and you continue attending regular events, but you’re not getting out of it what you hoped.

When I recently found myself in that situation, I started thinking about my clients and the people I invite to work with me or attend my workshops. I’ve been coached, and I coach others, to narrow the focus of your ideal client. That doesn’t mean you won’t attract people outside the scope of your avatar, but it does mean your marketing should be focused on the person you know you can best help.

By avatar, I don’t mean the blue CGI characters from James Cameron. I’m referring to the person most likely to buy your product or service and benefit from it.

Back in my corporate days, one of my best learning experiences came during a few years I spent in marketing. It was a time when our brand was evolving, and I was fortunate to sit in on presentations from the ad agency we hired. They had done research on our brand and why we struggled to stand out.

One exercise involved focus groups who were asked to identify brands based on commercials shown without logos or branding. Leadership was surprised to learn that our ads were so similar to a larger competitor that participants often attributed them to the other company. In other words, our marketing was unintentionally reinforcing someone else’s brand.

The agency showed us a grid where competitors were positioned on the advertising spectrum. There was space in another quadrant where our company could stand alone and be recognized more clearly.

We shifted our messaging toward that space, and it worked. The ads were designed for a very specific segment of people who were most likely to be our ideal clients.

As a business coach, especially in the early stages, identifying a narrow audience can feel challenging. When I created my website, the coach I worked with encouraged us to define our avatar in detail. The person didn’t have to be real, but the profile needed specifics: age, gender, occupation, lifestyle, goals, frustrations, even a name.

Let’s call her Jane.

Giving your avatar a name helps you write and speak directly to that person. When you develop your website, write emails, record a podcast, or create a workshop, you are speaking to Jane. If Jane isn’t interested, the message may not resonate.

But if it does resonate with Jane, you may also attract Mary, Sue, and even Fred. And that’s okay.

Even well-known brands take this approach. Nike primarily targets athletes and fitness enthusiasts. Target appeals to style-conscious, value-driven shoppers. Whole Foods

Market markets to health-minded consumers willing to invest in premium products. All of them have an ideal client in mind, even though many other people buy from them.

The same principle applies to your own business or leadership. If someone declines your offer, it may not be a reflection of your value. It may simply mean they are not your ideal client. Sales leaders often encourage us to celebrate the rejections because each “no” moves us closer to the right “yes.” The right yes feels aligned and mutually beneficial, not forced.

The bottom line is this: you should always be your authentic self. The products or services you offer are exactly what your ideal client needs. When you focus on serving that person well, you create clarity in your message and confidence in your work.

Not every room will be yours.

And that doesn’t mean you don’t belong.

It simply means you know who you’re meant to serve.

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If you’re looking for clarity in your business or career, you can reach me at doris@dunnwise.com, via DM, or at dunnwise.com.