The Power of Transformation
Have you ever been at a point in your life when you thought, “I need a drastic change?”
I'm not talking about drinking tea instead of coffee in the morning or getting a new hairstyle.
I'm talking about divorce, weight-loss surgery, or entering a beauty pageant as an adult. Or how about all three?
My latest podcast guest has experienced just that.
China Allen survived an abusive marriage that nearly cost her life. What began as a whirlwind romance eventually became a relationship filled with control, manipulation, and domestic violence. She believed her husband's promises that things would change, even bailing him out of jail on multiple occasions. Looking back, she wishes she'd left sooner, but leaving an abusive relationship is rarely as simple as it might appear to someone on the outside.
China had always been outgoing. Growing up, she was comfortable being the “large” girl in junior high and high school. She dreamed of becoming an actress, loved making people laugh, and enjoyed being the center of attention.
When she became pregnant at 18, her mother encouraged her to find a job so she could provide for her baby. China entered the workforce and eventually discovered a career in recruiting, where her personality and ability to connect with people helped her succeed.
Her career was moving in the right direction, even as her personal life became increasingly difficult.
At another turning point, China faced a warning from her doctor about the impact her weight could have on her health and her ability to be there for her children. She decided to undergo gastric sleeve surgery, eventually losing approximately 160 pounds.
But changing her appearance was only part of the transformation.
After years of having her confidence undermined, China began asking herself some important questions. Who am I? What do I want?
Those questions eventually led her somewhere unexpected: the world of beauty pageants.
She was already comfortable on stage and thought pageantry might help her rebuild the confidence she'd lost. By April 2024, she had earned the title of Ms. Queen of the World, and in January 2026, she added International Ms. USA 2026 to her accomplishments.
What began as a personal journey became an opportunity to encourage and empower other women.
China also made a significant professional change, leaving the security of a corporate career to launch her own recruiting and consulting business serving the financial services industry.
In a January 2026 LinkedIn post, she connected the lessons of pageantry to her professional life: “Pageantry has taught me lessons that directly shape how I show up as a leader in our industry: Collaboration over competition, Grace under pressure,
Confidence with purpose, And the belief that when women are equipped and supported, they rise, and they take others with them.”
Through all these changes, one thing has remained constant: her children. Her oldest son is grown, while her two younger sons are autistic, one of whom is non-speaking. China speaks openly about the challenges of raising children in a world that doesn't always understand their needs.
She uses her platform, whether on a pageant stage or social media, to advocate for autism awareness, inclusion, and compassion. Her message is simple: You never know what someone else is experiencing, so be kind and don't judge.
When I first met China at a Women in Insurance and Financial Services (WIFS) conference, she proudly wore her pageant sash throughout the event. That sash caught my attention and gave me a reason to introduce myself.
I was intrigued by her story of dramatic weight loss, but when she told me, “There's more,” I knew I wanted to hear the rest.
And there was so much more.
China continues to advocate for her children and for others experiencing domestic violence. Her story reminds me that transformation isn't always something we choose.
Sometimes circumstances force us to reconsider everything we thought we knew about our lives.
We all face challenges and make decisions, sometimes very difficult ones, that change our direction.
My personal transformations have looked very different from China's, but that doesn't make them any less meaningful.
One of my biggest transformations may have happened in junior high school, when I went from being a wallflower to the extroverted, outgoing, and sometimes louder-than-necessary person I am today.
I believe that extrovert was always there. But judgment, insecurity, and feeling like an outcast had kept that part of me hidden for years.
I've also made decisions that other people described as brave, although they never felt particularly brave to me. They simply felt like the natural next step in my life.
Looking back, I can see how transformative those decisions were. I don't regret a single major decision, even those that felt wrong for a short time.
I recently came across a quote from Nelson Mandela: “I never lose. I either win or learn.”
Those words capture something important about transformation.
We don't always get the outcome we expected, and the lessons aren't always easy. But every experience gives us an opportunity to learn something about ourselves, our priorities, and the direction we want our lives to take.
That doesn't mean the hard times aren't hard. They are. And sometimes the lessons take years to recognize.
But when we approach our experiences with a willingness to learn, we can use what we've discovered to become better people, mentors, teachers, and friends.
Perhaps transformation isn't always about becoming someone new. Sometimes it's about discovering who we've been all along.
Need support? If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, the National Domestic Violence Hotline offers free, confidential support 24/7. Call 800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or visit thehotline.org.
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Ready to turn insight into action? Let's connect! Reach me at doris@dunnwise.com, via DM, or at dunnwise.com.
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