When Everything Falls Apart, What Do You Do Next?

I had it all planned out.

I would retire at 55, move back to Tennessee, rely on my pension for a few years, find some part-time work to help with the bills, then give myself a raise at 59½ with my 401K, and supplement my income with Social Security at 65. We had even purchased land in Tennessee to build our dream home.

Then I learned my job would be eliminated years before my plan could begin.

I had to pivot.

Early retirement would have to wait, and our move to Tennessee shifted earlier in the timeline.

We ended up building a different dream home on different land. While it wasn’t what we originally planned, we were incredibly grateful to be closer to Mike’s parents, who weren’t getting any younger. We were even more grateful that Mike was able to spend meaningful time with his father before he passed a few years later.

My first guest on my new DunnWise Perspectives podcast, Heidi Siefkas, faced a very different kind of tragedy.

One day after learning her husband had been unfaithful, a one-thousand-pound tree limb fell on her head. When she awoke from a coma five days later, she had lost her health, her marriage, and her high-powered career all at once.

It took years to recover physically and even longer to recover emotionally.

Years later, tragedy struck again. The love of her life died in a plane crash, shattering the second life she had worked so hard to build.

And yet, through it all, she found a way to “look up.”

We all experience loss differently. And we all recover differently.

Recovery can depend on our courage. It can depend on the community around us. And it often depends on the time and space we allow ourselves to heal.

But what matters most is finding a way forward.

Taking one step at a time.

Recovery may take months or even years but staying stuck in the loss can keep us from moving forward.

I know this from experience.

After losing my job, I was angry and bitter for a long time, even when I could see the blessings that came from it. My ego was bruised, and I couldn’t let it go.

When I finally released that negative energy, something shifted.

I was able to fully appreciate the good that came from that change and remind myself that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be.

That doesn’t mean the pain disappears.

It means we learn how to carry it differently.

And yes, sometimes we pick it back up again. That’s human. The key is remembering to release it again, especially when it’s tied to things we can’t control.

The next time your world feels like it’s falling apart, allow yourself time to grieve, but don’t stay there.

Start looking for what remains.

If you’ve lost someone, be grateful for the time you had. The joy, the lessons, the memories.

If you’re struggling physically, focus on what still works. The support you have, the care you’re receiving, the strength you still carry.

If the challenge is financial, seek help without shame and trust that you’ll find your footing again.

So much of what we feel is shaped by how we think about it.

A fixed mindset says: Nothing will get better. I will always feel this way.

A growth mindset says: This is hard, but I will get through it. I may even come out stronger.

You may not be able to control what happened.

But you can control what happens next.

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My new podcast, DunnWise Perspectives: Stories of Resilience and Shifting Mindsets, is now live. I’d love for you to take a listen.

If you’re looking for clarity in your business or career, you can reach me at doris@dunnwise.com, via DM, or at dunnwise.com.