The Strength You Don't See

Were you bullied as a child? Or felt left out, unwelcomed, and friendless?

If the answer is yes, you’re not alone. Bullying may be on a decline, but it’s not gone.

For me, I only remember getting punched once. In the chest. I went home crying. It hurt.

A few years later the pain was emotional, not physical, and it felt worse. I was rejected by my classmates. Picked last for teams, excluded from the cool kids’ table, constantly made to feel like I didn’t belong.

After listening to my latest podcast guest, Jason Rappoport, I was reminded of something important.

Bullying is not just about the moment. It’s about what it does to you over time.

For me, it can show up as imposter syndrome, wondering if I really belong in a room.

Asking myself if others question my abilities and why I was invited.

Jason was born with a heart defect. He was smaller than the other kids. More vulnerable. An easy target. And like many kids who are bullied, he carried more than just physical pain. He carried the emotional weight of it.

Jason’s story didn’t stop there.

The bullying was one layer. His health challenges were another. Six heart-related surgeries, including a combination heart/kidney transplant that took nearly a year to recover from. As a young man, alcohol and drugs became a way to cope.

It’s easy to look at someone’s life and focus on one issue. But more often than not, it’s the combination of experiences that shapes the outcome.

Jason hit rock bottom shortly after watching his father die from liver cancer. He’s been sober for 30 years. It wasn’t always easy.

He stayed quiet during his first AA meeting and was surprised to hear stories that sounded worse than his own. He faithfully attends weekly meetings and values the friendships, mentors, and sponsors that helped him rebuild his life. Today, he gives that same support back to others.

The truth is that we belong in a lot more rooms than we realize.

What helped Jason rebuild his life was not just sobriety or medical care. It was connection. Vulnerability. Community. The willingness to admit he couldn’t do it alone.

That lesson applies to all of us.

We each have gifts, stories, experiences, and wisdom to share. We don’t always know who might need to hear them, but we must be willing to share.

We must also learn to look at ourselves through a different lens. Can you step outside yourself and recognize the good you’re doing in the world? Whether that’s as a corporate leader, parent, friend, or simply a kind neighbor.

If that inner view is a struggle, ask someone you trust. You might be surprised by the answer. In a good way.

The truth is that the strongest people are not the ones who never struggle.

They are the ones willing to face what hurt them, ask for help, and keep going anyway.

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My new podcast, DunnWise Perspectives: Stories of Resilience and Shifting Mindsets, is now live. I’d love for you to take a listen.

If you’re looking for clarity in your business or career, you can reach me at doris@dunnwise.com, via DM, or at dunnwise.com.