Ass Jokes and Other Marriage Secrets

“I’d like to see the rest of the radio.”

Possibly the best pick-up line ever.

It may not have been intended as a pick-up line, and it certainly wasn’t love at first sight, at least not for me. But it did begin a friendship that eventually turned into a 30-year marriage.

On May 30, Mike and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary. When you reach a milestone like that, it’s impossible not to walk back through the memories and think about how it all began.

I had just leased a Jeep Wrangler for reasons that were financially questionable, but the free spirit in me couldn’t resist. I loved everything about that Jeep. The winter white exterior. The tan seats. The soft top that came off at the smallest hint of warm weather. I kept a sweatshirt under the seat and blasted the heat when it got cold.

Everyone waved at the cool girl in her very cool Jeep.

Back in the 90s, radios were not included. Jeep owners bought removable models with snap-off covers so thieves wouldn’t be tempted.

Mike was at a mutual friend’s party, and I was the dork proudly showing off my radio to anyone who seemed remotely interested.

Mike wanted to see the rest of the radio.

We eloped a year later.

We were so broke we couldn’t afford a photographer or even one of those old-time photo shoots at the mall. Fourteen years later, we returned to Durango to renew our vows and finally get some decent pictures.

Our "wedding" photo was taken 14+ years after our wedding day

Last year I wrote an anniversary blog called “Why We Work.” The stories and advice still hold true, and after another year together, I’d say the highlights haven’t changed much.

Make each other laugh.

One of the best sounds in the world is genuine laughter. It’s contagious. Watch an old episode of The Carol Burnett Show when the cast can barely hold it together, and you’ll probably find yourself laughing too.

Almost every time we leave our neighborhood, we drive past a small pasture with a handful of horses and one lone donkey.

Five years ago, Mike sent me a text: “The guy had his ass hiding in the tall grass under a tree.”

A month later: “His little ass was rubbing on a fence post.”

Then: “You should have seen his ass shining in the sun. I think he washed it.”

Nearly every drive since produces another ass joke, either on the way out or on the way home. Last count was 156. 

Sometimes I just roll my eyes. Sometimes I laugh out loud.

It’s one of Mike’s favorite ways to entertain me.

Compromise matters too.

For most of my life, I believed homes should be neat and organized. Clothes properly folded. Mail put away immediately. Dirty dishes never left in the sink. Beds made every morning.

Mike was the opposite.

Clean clothes could live happily in the laundry basket for days. Mail could pile up on the counter. Things would get put away… eventually.

I traveled often for work and used to get frustrated when I came home and immediately started straightening the house.

Eventually, I let it go. Long before Mel Robbins wrote, “Let them.”

I still love an organized home, but somewhere along the way I realized that protecting our relationship mattered more than perfectly folded towels. And honestly, my imperfections may have rivaled his all along.

So here’s the advice worth printing, laminating, and sticking on the refrigerator. Or maybe just scribbling on a coffee-stained Post-it note.

• The best relationships aren’t effortless. They require effort.

• They aren’t conflict-free. Conflict is handled with kindness.

• They aren’t built on sameness. They’re built on respect for your differences.

And sometimes, they begin with a Jeep radio and some random animal jokes.

I heard a question this morning that made me pause.

If you could go back and choose again, knowing everything you know now, would you take the same path?

The path you know includes all of it. The love, the laughter, the mistakes, the fights, the heartbreak, and the life you built together along the way.

The other path is unknown. Maybe better. Maybe worse. There are no guarantees.

For me, the answer is easy.

I would choose this life again.

The same path. The same lessons. The same donkey jokes.

Your answer may be different. But before you dream about another life, pause long enough to remember the blessings and goodness already sitting beside you.

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