Refusing to Shrink
When I met my friend, Andrea Davis, we both served in volunteer roles with the American Red Cross. She was working for the Disney Corporation as the Director of Global Crisis Management and Business Continuity. I was the Director of Community Relations for Farmers Insurance and managed the company's nonprofit partnerships.
As a passionate supporter of the Red Cross, I was thrilled to be part of the growing corporate partnership we had with the organization. As a large insurance company, we often parked our bus next to the Red Cross bus after major disaster events. It made perfect sense to support the nonprofit with our charitable budget.
Andrea was the keynote speaker at several Red Cross events, as she was also serving on the Los Angeles board. Her stories were fascinating, not because of the disasters she helped navigate throughout her tenure at Disney, but because they revealed how people, communities, and leaders respond when everything they know has been turned upside down.
Andrea and I stayed connected over the years as we both moved on to new roles. What I didn't know was what she had overcome as she navigated the obstacles and opportunities throughout her life.
All I saw was the successful, high-powered, high-energy redhead (aka Rednado) who seemed to have everything figured out.
What I didn't see was the teenager who graduated high school eight months pregnant while others questioned whether she belonged there. I didn't see the single mother working late-night shifts to put herself through college. I didn't see the professional who endured toxic workplaces, dismissive colleagues, and leaders who underestimated her. I didn't see the years spent proving she belonged in rooms where others assumed she didn't.
I learned how she refused to shrink while reading her book, I Only Remember Grievances and Desserts: What I've Learned from Cretins, Douchebags, and Vipers So Far, and during our recent conversation for my podcast.
As I reflected on our discussion, I realized standing up for yourself doesn't always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like refusing to let other people define what's possible for your life.
My mother once told me never to become dependent on a man. My father had a very different vision for my future.
Looking back, I didn't always feel brave, but I kept taking the next step.
Leaving home at 18.
Building a career that included multiple moves around the country.
Saying yes to opportunities that scared me.
Achieving goals that were sometimes only important to me.
Navigating layoffs.
And eventually, starting DunnWise Consulting.
When I lost my corporate role, I had a choice. I could spend my energy focusing on what I had lost, or I could focus on what I had built over three decades. The relationships. The experience. The lessons learned. The desire to help others succeed.
Starting DunnWise wasn't about proving anything to anyone else. It was about believing that my best work might still be ahead of me.
Some of those decisions required courage.
All of them required movement.
Andrea's story reminded me that refusing to shrink isn't a one-time decision. It's something we choose over and over again. She chose it as a pregnant teenager. She chose it as a single mother. She chose it when colleagues underestimated her. She chose it when she left the security of corporate America to build her own company.
Too often, I hear stories about toxic work environments and broken corporate cultures. The mission sounds good, but the leadership team and employees don't believe it.
People are afraid to speak up, or when they do, they face retaliation.
We may not be able to fix everything that is broken in our workplaces, our communities, or even our homes. But we can speak up for ourselves. We can take control of how we respond. We can decide who gets to define us.
Sometimes it's choosing the career you want instead of the one others expect.
Sometimes it's saying no.
Sometimes it's saying yes.
Sometimes it's simply refusing to shrink.
Life has a way of encouraging us to play smaller, stay quieter, or lower our expectations.
The challenge is not to become someone else.
The challenge is to remain fully yourself.
Whatever form it takes, the world needs fewer people shrinking and more people becoming who they were meant to be.
To listen to my full podcast interview with Andrea, click here, or find DunnWise Perspectives wherever you listen to podcasts.
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If you’re looking for clarity in your business or career, you can reach me at doris@dunnwise.com, via DM, or at dunnwise.com.
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