Four Words That Changed My Life

I just finished reading The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins. It’s been on the New York Times bestseller list for 15 weeks—and if you’re one of the millions who’ve read it, you already know why I’m obsessed. If you haven’t picked it up yet, stick with me. Whether you’re curious or already a fan, I’m sharing how this book changed my mindset—and my life.

I first heard about The Let Them Theory on a podcast. The host was interviewing Mel Robbins, and within minutes, I was hooked. I ordered the book that day. It sat on my ever-growing nonfiction pile for a while, but once I started it, I couldn’t put it down.

If you know me, you know I have high energy. I rarely go a day without walking 10,000 steps. I work out nearly every day. I even bought a walking tread for my standing desk. That drive serves me well in many ways—but it also makes it hard to sit still when things don’t go as planned. I hate being in the slow lane at the grocery store or on the freeway. I get frustrated when a friend ignores my repeated reminders to take care of their health. I want things to run smoothly, and I want to help fix what doesn’t.

But here’s the truth I’ve been learning: the world doesn’t need me to fix everything. When I pause and tell myself, “Let them,” I give up just a little bit of control—and a whole lot of frustration.

Let them drive slow.

Let them ignore advice.

Let them handle things differently than I would.

It’s not about giving up. It’s about letting go. When someone upsets me, I don’t need to carry that anger around for days. Now, I tell myself, “Let them be who they are.” It’s okay to feel upset in the moment. But I don’t have to let it derail me. I can’t change their behavior—I can only manage mine.

That’s where the second half of the theory comes in: “Let me.”

Let me respond calmly.

Let me release the need to control.

Let me move forward with compassion and clarity.

“Let me” restores balance. It reminds me that I have power—not over others, but over how I react. It’s a mindset rooted in acceptance, responsibility, and grace.

One chapter that really stuck with me was about comparison. You know how it goes—scrolling through social media, convinced everyone else has it figured out. But Mel shares something so wise: “In life, you’re not playing against anyone. You’re playing with them.” Someone will always have better cards than you—but life isn’t about the cards. It’s about how you play them.

That message hit me hard. I’ve been comparing myself for as long as I can remember. As a kid, there was a stretch—maybe two or three years—when I had no friends. I was picked last for every team, and bunked with the other kid no one wanted to room with at 5th-grade camp. I’ve grown from that chapter, but the tendency to compare? That still lingers. This book helped me shift my focus back to gratitude.

I’ve kept a gratitude journal for years, but now I see it in a new light. “Let them” frees me from trying to control what isn’t mine to fix. “Let me” invites me to focus on what is—my choices, my thoughts, my response.

If you’ve read the book, I’d love to hear your thoughts. If you haven’t, I highly recommend grabbing a copy. And if you're curious about how I've started applying “let them” and “let me” in real-life situations, just reach out—I’m happy to share more.