Fake Has the Word Fake in It

My husband has been threatening to write a book or blog called “S#&% My Wife Says.” It’s true—I do come out with some doozies. Most of them I’m either too embarrassed to admit or laughing so hard I can’t get the words out through my tears.

Yesterday was one of those moments. I was trying to make a serious point: that we need to stop using the phrase “fake it till you make it.” I meant to say something wise about how faking implies you don’t truly believe in your ability to reach the goal in front of you. That if you did believe, you wouldn’t fake it—it would already feel real.

But what came out was: “Fake has the word fake in it.”

We both burst out laughing. I mean... obviously, right?

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized—it's kind of brilliant.

The word fake comes from slang meaning to counterfeit, rob, or swindle. We hear it everywhere today: fake friends, fake news, fake filters on social media. It’s not a neutral word—it’s negative, deceptive, and performative. So, when you say, “fake it till you make it,” what are you really reinforcing?

It’s one thing to step into your future self. It’s another to pretend to be someone you’re not.

That’s the nuance. I often tell people: “Act like you already have the job or the title you want.” If you’re a manager who wants to be a VP, start showing up like one. That’s not faking—it’s believing. It’s embodying the role before the promotion makes it official.

And when you believe that deeply in yourself, people notice. You’ll carry yourself differently. You’ll speak with more conviction. You’ll lead the project—even if it’s your first time.

Fans of Ted Lasso might remember the sign that simply said “Believe.” The team high-fived it on the way out of the locker room. Even after it was ripped up in frustration, someone taped it back together. And somehow, that made it even more powerful. Ted believed in his team long before they believed in themselves. But once they did—spoiler alert—they started winning.

The next time someone says, “fake it till you make it,” smile and tell them: “I don’t fake anything. I know I’ll make it.”

For more information about workshops I offer, click here or visit my website to learn more about how I can transform your visions into realities.